"Things You Do NOT Want to Hear Your Doctor Say During a Vasectomy"
10. Are you cold?
9. I wish I could get this hand to stop shaking.
8. What's the worst pain you can imagine?
7. I'll feel a small prick - er, I mean YOU, you'll feel a small prick.
6. Your gender-reorientation surgery shouldn't take more than a few hours.
5. Your HMO only pays for the "banding" method.
4. That reminds me - I'm supposed to pick up some Vienna Sausages on the way home tonight.
3. Are you as furious as I am that "Brokeback Mountain" didn't win the Oscar?
2. Nurse, bring me my web-cam.
1. After sticking this needle in your scrotum, I will punch a hole in your scrotal wall, hook your vas deferens, cut them, put titanium caps on the ends, and push them back in. We'll be done in 10 minutes.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
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